


I Can't Let Her Die

by originalhybridlover



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Oliver travels to the past to save Felicity, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 16:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18196577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/originalhybridlover/pseuds/originalhybridlover
Summary: When the love of Oliver's life is ripped from him without warning he travels back in time to save her. Consequences be damned.





	1. Prologue

“You have to listen to me or you’ll going to lose  _ everything. _ ”

Oliver stared back at the man in front of him and his like looking into a mirror only older. “This shouldn’t be possible.”

“After everything we’ve seen is time travel really that inconceivable,” Oliver responded, his eyes scanning the bunker searching for her.

“But by being here, changing things aren’t you running the risk of ruining everything else? The butterfly effect or something.” Oliver was finding it really hard to focus.

“I don’t give a fuck about some butterfly effect. I don’t care about the consequences it will have to the timeline.” Oliver snapped, his eyes livid with anger and storm barely kept at bay. “All I care about is keeping Felicity  _ alive. _ ”

Oliver stumbled back. “ _ What _ ?”

_ Something happen’s to Felicity?  _

How? Why? When?

“You think we spent half our life suffering you know pain but you have no idea what  _ real  _ pain is.”

Older Oliver’s voice was filled with such pain younger Oliver felt like his chest was being torn open, leaving an open, bleeding wound.

“When the woman you love is ripped from you suddenly and without warning. That is real pain.  _ True suffering _ .”

A shiver traveled down the length of Oliver’s spine. He sounded just like Slade Wilson.

“All I see is her everywhere. Her ghost haunting me with every step I take. There is so much I didn’t get to tell her. So much I should have said when I had the chance. I have so much regret. It’s  _ crippling _ .” He breathed harshly his hand raising to press a fist against his chest as if he wanted his heart to just stop beating.

“I can’t do this without her. Any of it. I won’t.” Older Oliver eyes filled with so much suffering and pain that it had younger Oliver flinching. “I will save her or I’m going to die trying. Failure is not an option because there is no Oliver Queen without Felicity Smoak.”

His hand tightened around an arrow shaft. “So you can help me or get out of my way. I don’t care if you are me. I  _ will _ put you  _ down. _ ”

Oliver saw the conviction in his eyes but more than that he saw the pain but he already knew he was going to do whatever he needed to do if it meant saving Felicity. “What do we need to do?”


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy Strikes Team Arrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be forewarned there's a death in this chapter. You can consider last chapter more of a prologue. 
> 
> This chapter takes place before Oliver travels back in time.

Felicity's fingers worked diligently over the keys of the board, her eyes glued to the screen.

She could hear Oliver, John and Roy training in the background. 

Lately, Oliver had been more on edge. 

After finally defeating Slade, the team, especially Oliver had worked their ass's off in helping the city recover from the siege.

That was almost three months ago, and it felt like the city was really starting to heal.

It hadn't been an easy couple of months. Nothing for Team Arrow really was however with each passing day Felicity was filled with a sense of hope.

Things had gotten complicated when members of the Glades started dropping by arrows to the heart.

The Arrow was SCPD first suspect only Oliver hadn't dropped any bodies since the count.

It had become clear to Team Arrow that there was a copycat out there ruining everything Oliver was working toward making the city better.

For the past two weeks, the copycat had been dropping bodies left and right. 

Felicity was doing her best to track him, but he was good at hiding. Whoever he was really didn't want to be found.

Unfortunately, they couldn't focus all their time on him not when guns were being sold to teens, and a new drug was hitting the streets of Starling City

Taking out the weapons dealer was relatively easy, getting the drugs off the streets was taking time when they had multiple dealers working the streets; however, they needed to find the supplier.

Felicity spent more and more time in the bunker trying to track it all down. Felicity knew it was only a matter of time before she found what they needed to take down the whole drug operation.

* * *

“Hey, I thought you would have gotten here earlier.” Roy greeted as Felicity stepped out of her car.

“So did I. My cars been giving me trouble for the past couple days.” Felicity grabbed her bag and locked her car. “Are Oliver and Digg here?” 

“Oliver stepped out to get some food and Digg's taking food to Lyla, she had some kind of weird pregnancy craving for pickles and Cherry Garcia ice cream.” Roy’s face scrunched up. “I don’t even want to know what goes on with a pregnant woman's tastebuds.”

Felicity laughed. “Honestly, Scarecrow me neither. What are you doing out here?”

“You were running late and its the Glades, I figured I wait for you." Roy gave a small shrug. "The Glades isn't a safe place for anyone after dark.” 

Felicity nodded, fighting back a smile, sometimes being around Roy, talking with him she imagined it was what it was like to have a brother. A protective little brother but still a little brother. "I appreciate the concern."

"Plus, Oliver would kill me if I let anything happen to you," Roy added. 

"There is that," Felicity agreed jokingly. Although in all honesty, Felicity knew Oliver would never kill Roy. He was a member of their team, and he cared about him more than he was willing to admit out loud. “Hey, if you’re lucky he'll just shoot you.” 

Roy let out a dramatic groan. “Don’t remind me. I still remember the pain vividly when he shot me last time.”

“There were circumstances.” Oliver's voice sounded from behind them. 

Felicity turned and smiled at him. “Hey, we were just talking about you.”

“I gathered, and you’re talking about the possibility of me shooting Roy, why?”  Oliver asked as he walked closer to them, a bag of takeout from Big Belly Burgers clutched in his hands a container of drinks in the other. 

“Just making conversation. What did you get us?” Felicity asked, stepping toward him. 

“I got some fries, cheeseburgers and I got you a strawberry shake.” Oliver's lips pulled up into a smile. “I know it’s no mint chip, but I figured you would appreciate the thought.”

Oliver was rewarded with a smile that he swore lit up the night. 

“That’s so sweet, and I’ll show you just how appreciative I can be tonight.” Felicity reached for the shake and took a sip. 

Oliver’s eyebrows shot up at those words, her words creating images in his head one after the other that he didn’t need when he needed to focus tonight. The thought of Felicity suggestively showing her appreciation for something he did for her was far too distracting for him to handle. 

Roy snorted. “Felicity, your slip of the tongue is getting worse.”

“What?” Felicity ran back the words in her mind, and her eyes widened as they shot to Oliver. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant showing my appreciation by helping you with Team Arrow stuff and helping you get your company back.” 

Oliver loved the way her face flushed and seeing it spread down her neck, he wondered just how far that blush went. He gave his head a small shake trying to focus. “I know what you meant, Felicity.”

Felicity relaxed turning back around to begin walking again. “I swear if I could buy a filter for the things I say, I would pay so much money. And I would not regret it.” 

“But then we could no longer laugh at your mortification,” Roy smirked at her. 

“Shut up.” Felicity started to roll her eyes heavenward when something caught her eye. 

A man in a hood stood on a roof, aiming an arrow at them. 

Felicity followed the man's line of sight. No, not at them. Only at one of them. 

She acted instinctively, seeing him draw back his bow. “Roy!  _ Move _ !” her body reacted instinctively when she saw the arrow release, throwing herself into Roy knocking him back. 

It happened too fast. Oliver never even saw it coming until Felicity’s gasp of pain tore through the air.

“ _ Felicity _ !” Oliver dropped everything in his hands, grabbing Felicity and gently lowering her to the ground.

“Oh God, Felicity.” Roy pushed back to his Felicity from where Felicity had knocked him to the ground. He stared down in horror at the arrow sticking out of her chest, blood seeped from the corner of her mouth as more blood spread across the front of her jacket. So much blood.  

“Go after that bastard!” Oliver snapped at him. “Don’t let him get away!”

Roy nodded jerkily, even as his eyes shined with tears. He turned on his heel and chased after the man as he saw him jump from the rooftop heading west. 

“Oli-Oliver.” Felicity's voice rattled as blood dribbled down her chin. 

“Shh, don’t talk.” he hushed. 

“Don’t blame R-Roy for this. It’s not hi-his fault.” She gasped out. 

Olived pressed down on her chest around the wound, trying to stem the blood flow but there was just so much of it as it seeped between his fingers. “Shh. I’m not gonna blame him for this. You’re going to be fine.” he quickly used his phone sending an emergency text to Digg then dropped his phone to the ground, holding her to him. 

“You’re st-still as bad a liar as the da-day we m-met.” Felicity gasped in pain, her chest rattling. “You changed my li-fe that day.”

Oliver’s eyes filled with tears, a vice wrapping around his heart. “And you changed mine. More than you know. Just hold on. Please, Felicity, I can’t do this without you.”

“Yes, you can. You d-did before.” Felicity's hand reached up covering his that was soaked in her blood. “And I believe in you.”

Oliver ducked his head, a quiet sob escaping him.

“I’m s-sorry,” she murmured. “I never wanted to be the cause of more pain for you. I-I wanted-” Felicity let out a harsh cough, blood splattering her lips, the color draining from her skin, leaving her ghostly pale, her eyes glassy. “I wa-wanted to be a happy story.” a tear slid from her eye.

Tears slid down his cheeks, his shoulders shaking, he reached a hand up to her cheek. “You are, Felicity. You are my  _ best  _ story.” 

“Oliver, I-” She gave another cough and cried out in pain. 

Oliver felt his heart tearing apart as he watched her struggle to breathe, drowning in her own blood. “Shh, save your strength.”

“Oliver, I-” her eyes glazed over and he watched the life leave them, felt her chest beneath his hand still, her arm dropping to her side and her head falling against his chest. 

“Felicity,” he placed his hand over her heart. “No, please!” It wasn’t beating. “Come back to me! Felicity!”

A chasm opened in his chest. Pain and grief consuming him. “Felicity!  _ Please _ !! FELICITY!!!”

“Oliver!” Digg ran up, his eyes widened as he dropped to his knees and reached his hand out pressing his fingers to Felicity’s neck, finding no pulse. “What the hell happened?!” His voice shook. 

Oliver couldn’t answer, he couldn’t think, everything around him blurred. “Please, Felicity, I still need you.” He brought her in closer and curled himself around her, crying into her neck.

The moment her heart stopped beating, the hope for a future worth living beyond his missions, beyond being the Arrow died with her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than what I'm used to writing but knowing me the chapters will get longer. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos and commenting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna apologize in advance for the angst ahead.

The days leading up to Felicity's funeral were unbearable for Oliver.

He barely ate. He couldn't sleep.  

Oliver couldn't feel anything but pain.

His subconscious had become his enemy.  A liar just waiting to push images on him of a life he could no longer have because Felicity was always in his dreams standing beside him, believing in him, guiding him with her light.

However every time he opened his eyes, he was forced into the reality that Felicity's light was gone. Snuffed out. Forever.

She was gone.

The only time he left the Foundry was when he was hitting the streets, hunting for her killer.

It was only a matter of time before he struck again and when he did Oliver would be there to make sure his life was snuffed out with an arrow. Just like the bastard had ripped Felicity's life from her. With an arrow.

It was barely two days later that Mrs. Smoak arrived in town. Oliver didn't know Donna Smoak but what he did know was that she raised an incredible woman and the best person he had been lucky enough to know.

Donna was barely holding it together with the loss of her daughter, leaving the woman shaken at her core.

John wanting to makes things easier on Donna offered to help with funeral arrangements, and Oliver did his best to help her when the police wanted to talk to her about the investigation they had going about the Copycat Hood and why her daughter might have been a target.

Roy had struggled since the night of Felicity's death. He blamed himself that his friend was gone. A woman who he had grown to think of as a sister was dead because of him.

He was hitting the streets continuously with Oliver, and John usually acted as the voice of reason.

Laurel had tried to offer her help, she offered to run coms, and the very idea had rankled Oliver. No one but Felicity should touch her computers.

He didn't want Laurel there, and he had been in no place to be kind about it.

Laurel had left in a sheen of angry tears, and they hadn't spoken since.

He couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't bring himself to care about anything but catching Felicity's killer and making him suffer.

* * *

Felicity's funeral was a quiet affair. A few of her co-workers from her IT days showed up, her neighbor, her mother and a few friends from college.

Oliver didn't know any of them really, Felicity never talked about them. He didn't think she had been close to anyone in particular.

He was thankful that Donna had chosen a closed casket ceremony. Oliver couldn't stand seeing Felicity so still and lifeless, he had enough ammo to fuel his nightmare as it was.

Oliver kept close to Donna during the ceremony, wanting to be there for Felicity's mother. He was sure it was what Felicity would have wanted. Her mother was the only family she had.

He wanted Donna to know if she needed anything he would be there. He couldn't save Felicity, but he would be there for her mother.

He prayed to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in when they lowered her casket into the ground and started shoveling the dirt on top burying her beneath the ground.

He wanted to sink to the ground and just stop. He wanted everything to stop. How was it possible that the world kept turning, that life kept going on when Felicity Smoak was dead.

He forced himself to remain standing as Donna turned to him, sobbing for the loss of her child. He wrapped his arm around her in an attempt to comfort her as the priest spoke.

He marveled at Donna's strength as she gathered herself as people started to walk away from the grave.

His eyes found Digg and Lyla, Digg motioned he was gonna get his pregnant wife to the car as it started to rain. Oliver nodded, his focus returning to Donna. "Are you alright?" he winced when he asked the question. It was a stupid one. "Don't answer that. Of course, you're not."

Donna shook her head. "I'm never gonna be okay again, but I really appreciate everything you have done for Felicity and for me. You're a great friend even when she's no longer with us."

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he wasn't. He wasn't a good friend. Felicity was dead because of him, if he had just left her in her cubicle in IT, maybe she would still be here lighting up everyone’s lives who came in contact with her, sharing her kindness with the world.

"Donna."  

Donna turned sharply, and he watched as she clenched her jaw, looking at an older man with salt and pepper hair. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I have the right to pay my respects, Donna. She was my daughter, too."

His words made Oliver realize that this man was Felicity's dad. He didn't know much about Felicity's parents. Oliver never really asked about her family. He wished he had. There was so much he wished he would have said.

Regret. It was the worst feeling in the world.

What he did know about Felicity parents was that Felicity's mother lived in Vegas, she was a cocktail waitress, and she raised an amazing daughter. And the only thing he knew of her father was that he left Felicity and her mom when she was just a little girl.

"She's your daughter? You haven't seen her since she was seven years old." Donna retorted lashing out. "She was my daughter. She didn't need you when she was here, and she doesn't need you now. You're not wanted, leave here Noah and let me make it through this nightmare of a day."

Noah had the decency to look contrite. "I know I can never make up for not being there, and I'll never get the chance to apologize to my little girl for not being the kind of father she deserved, but there is something that I can do."

Oliver looked between the two as they argued.

Donna wiped her tears away angrily. "What could you possibly do for her when she's not here anymore?"

"I can find the person who took our daughter and make them pay for what they have done," Noah responded.

Donna faltered in her anger. "I want the man who took my little girl to pay for taking her from me but you being here now, it's too little too late." Donna didn't wait for him to respond and she walked away heading to the car that was waiting for her.

Noah turned to Oliver. "Did you know my daughter well, Mr. Queen?"

Oliver regarded the man carefully. "Felicity was the best person I ever got to know. She was beautiful, kind and selfless," his eyes filled with sadness, unwilling to try for a smile, even if it was fake. "She was the smartest person in any room, and she wasn't afraid to let you know it. There wasn't a better person than your daughter to have in your corner when you were in need of a friend or a helping hand."

Noah nodded. "Sadly, I can't say I knew my daughter as well as you did and now I never will."  

"How do you plan on finding her killer when the police can't even track him down?" Oliver challenged.

"Give me a good internet connection and a keyboard, and there's very little I can't do." Noah moved closer to Felicity's grave. Oliver watched him as he completed the Jewish custom grabbing a fist full of dirt and dropping it on the fresh grave, whispering an apology that Felicity would never hear.

Noah nodded at him when he turned back around and walked away.

Oliver stepped toward Felicity's grave, staring down at the freshly covered ground, and the words written on her tombstone.

**_A daughter, a friend, a bright light gone too soon._ **

He clenched his jaw, his eyes burned with tears that he refused to shed. He couldn't let his grief swallow him whole not until he avenged Felicity.

He didn't want to bring her killer to justice, no, he wanted to kill him, make him suffer, Oliver wanted to watch as he bled out. He wanted their blood to coat his hands, he wanted to know he was the one to take their last breath from them without a single shred of regret.

Oliver barely felt it as it started to rain, he paid no mind to the loud clap of thunder or the lightning that flashed across the gray sky.

The skies opened up, and still, he didn't budge. He heard footsteps in the mud but didn't turn around.

A steady hand gripped his shoulder, and he knew it was John.

"Did you always know we would wind up here?" Oliver wondered.

John sighed. "I hoped we wouldn't, in the beginning, I didn't know how much she would come to mean to the team, to us."

"I said we could protect her but I failed, and now she's gone. I should have listened to you. If I had never approached her if I had just left her down in IT if I never became a part of her life she would still be here." Oliver stated with a sense of self-hatred Digg had never heard from him before.

"She's not dead because of you. She's gone because of me."

Oliver turned to see Roy standing behind him, and he looked like he was haunted, with sunken cheeks and dark eyes.

_Don't blame Roy._

Oliver could hear Felicity's voice clearly in his head. "This isn't your fault."

"She is dead because she saved me. Of course, it's my fault!" Roy clenched his jaw.

"It was her choice, Felicity knew what she was doing Roy," John told him solemnly. "She chose to save you."

Roy looked away blinking back the tears that gathered in his eyes. "We have to hunt this sonofabitch down. For her."

"We will, and I'm gonna be the one to put an arrow through him," Oliver stated, he looked at Roy and John. "For Felicity."

John knew Felicity wouldn't want more death, but there was no way in hell this bastard was going to get away with killing her.

Felicity may be gone, but what she meant to them, her memory would live on.

* * *

Oliver spent the next two weeks, hitting the streets, trying to find a lead on the Copycat, not caring he was dropping bodies again.

John had tried to get through to him that this wasn't something Felicity would want, but when Oliver didn't want to listen to reason, he might as well have been talking to a wall.

Still, he was getting nowhere, he was no closer to finding the Copycat Hood. It left him beyond frustrated, and he took that frustration out on his team. It wasn't his intention, but he felt like he was going to explode with rage and John, and Roy were used to dealing with him.

He needed someone with Felicity's skill set to find the Copycat.

* * *

"Noah Kutter," The arrow's voice was gravelly as he appeared, wielding his bow and arrow.

Noah stood from his chair in surprise after attending his daughter's funeral he had set up residence in the woods just outside of Starling as he searched day in and day out for his daughter's killer. His eyes narrowed as his alarms went off a little too late to alert him to an intruder on the property. "What do you want?"

"Felicity Smoak. She was your daughter."

"She was." Noah nodded. "She got killed by a Copycat of your work."

"She worked for me. She helped me take down the criminals of this city. I know you want her killer dead. So do I but I can't find him on my own. I want you to find him for me."

"I thought you stopped killing?" Noah questioned. "I don't want him to rot in a cell. I want him in the ground."

Oliver stepped forward, lowering his bow and held out a disposable phone. "He will be when I put an arrow through his throat."

"I'll find him." Noah accepted the phone.

"When you do you can reach me with this, my number is already programmed." Oliver turned to leave.

"Wait," Noah said, and Oliver paused not turning around. "My daughter she worked with you. Helped you. She was your partner. Is that all she was to you?"

Oliver's heart thumped painfully against his chest at the question.

He had been haunted by what he lost since the night Felicity died. Quiet dreams he kept to himself. Words Oliver never said. Feelings he pushed down and ignored.

The night they took down Slade, and he told Felicity he loved her. It wasn't just a ruse because it wasn't a lie.

When she brought it up on Lian Yu, he should have told her the truth. He should have told her he loved her, how her belief in him breathed life in a man whose only reason for living was fighting to right his father's wrongs. He should have told her she made him want to live again. Really live and not just exist for a mission. For a crusade.

He wanted to surround himself with family, he wanted to love and be loved, Oliver wanted the chance to experience everything life had to offer with Felicity, but now he would never have that chance. A world of possibilities ripped from him with one single arrow to her chest.

There was nothing like having your skin wet with the blood of the woman you loved to haunt your every waking moment.

Oliver could truly understand how the Mirakuru and Shado's death har driven Slade insane.

He felt like he was slowly becoming Slade. All he could think about was killing the man who took Felicity from him.

Revenge was slowly consuming him.

"No," he answered. "Felicity was my hope." She was his love.

And now she was his what if. She was his regret.

He should have told Felicity how much he had fallen in love with her.

* * *

Oliver pulled back his bow letting his arrow fly, it pierced the man's leg, and he fell to one knee, he fired a second arrow into the man's shoulder, his screams urging him on.

Oliver scaled down the building he was standing on. His steps slow and sure like a predator, stalking his fallen prey.

Oliver yanked the man's hood back on his green hoodie, he twisted the arrow in his shoulder with his left hand and wrapped his right one tightly around the man's neck squeezing. "Three weeks ago you aimed an arrow at my friend, and you missed and struck down the woman I loved."

The man gave a pained chuckle. "Your attachments make you weak."

"What?" Oliver's eyes narrowed. "You know _nothing_ about me."

"I do. When you showed up the criminals ran at the mention of the Hood, you represented fear and death. You used to drop bodies. You were a _killer._  You were a symbol of strength we all needed." the man said, gritting his teeth through the pain. "But suddenly, you weren't alone, you stopped killing, and you started recruiting men who didn't deserve to fight with you. You were meant to kill, but they made you weak."

"And what? You decided you would become the new Hood?" Oliver demanded, resisting the urge to snap his neck.

"No, I wanted to show you that you had it right the first time around. I needed to remind you of who you are. Your pretty little blonde was just the first of many, Oliver Queen. If I have to take everyone you love to return you to the killer you were once then so be it."

Oliver didn’t care that the man knew his true identity. He twisted the arrow in his shoulder viciously causing the man to cry out in pain. "The only thing you did was ensure your own death," he yanked the arrow out and removed his hand from his neck only to plunged the arrow shaft through his throat, watching as his eyes widened as he yanked the arrow back out, blood gushing from the hole in his throat.

The man reached up. his hands moving to the gushing wound, choking on his own blood as he bled from his neck.

He fell back against the dark pavement, a gurgling sound leaving his parted lips, his face was filled with pain, fear, and desperation, and Oliver watched stoned face as the life left the man's eyes.

He turned his back to the man hearing his last struggling breath and left him in a puddle of his own blood.  

He returned to the Foundry and found Roy and John there. Waiting.

Neither of them was there when he had suited up after Noah had called with the information he needed. He didn't want them getting in his way or trying to talk him out of what he just did.

"Oliver, what happened?" John moved toward him.

He looked at the blood coating the leather of his gloves. "It's not my blood."

"Then whose blood is it?" Roy asked.

Oliver moved toward Felicity's computer station picking up the burner phone he left there and pressed it to his ear.

 _"Is it done?"_ Noah asked in greeting when he picked up on the second ring as if he had just been waiting for Oliver's call.

"It's done. He's dead."

" _Good,_ " Noah said. " _I believe this concludes our business, Mr. Queen._ "

The phone clicked in his ear, and Oliver tossed the phone onto the table and moved to put his bow down.

"Oliver," John placed his hand on his shoulder turning him to face him. "Who's dead?"

"Andrew Miller. The Copycat Hood." He tugged his gloves off and tossed them away.

Roy stepped forward. "You got him? You got the bastard that killed Feli-" Roy's voice cracked on her name. "Felicity."

Oliver raised his eyes to Roy. "I watched the life drained from him."

"Oliver," Diggle shook his head, his eyes somber. "I wanted him dead just as much as you did but do you really think Felicity wanted you to kill someone in her name?"

Oliver really doubted Digg wanted Andrew Miller dead the way he did. Digg was not in love with Felicity however he was, and he was going to live with the regret of never being with her, never telling her that he meant it the one time he said the words to her.

Oliver wished he could say it all over again. He wished he told her every day. He wished she never had any doubt about how deeply he had fallen in love with her light, her belief in him. How irrevocably he had fallen for her.

"She's not here," Oliver said finally. "I wasn't going to let him breathe another breath when she's 6 feet underground because of him."

Oliver turned to get out of his suit, but Roy calling out to him stopped him. "Did he suffer?"

"I put an arrow through his throat. He drowned, choking on his own blood." He made sure the man suffered, but it felt like it wasn't enough.

Roy nodded. "He deserved it."

"He deserved a lot worse," Oliver replied darkly.

John sighed, his eyes looking sadly to Felicity's computers wishing she was sitting in her chair. Wishing she was still there with them.

* * *

Roy walked into the Foundry, ready to suit up for the night. Wanting to hit someone, needing to workout this heavy feeling in his gut.

He heard the sound of an arrow and saw Oliver shooting his bow, his focus dead set. "Where's Digg?"

"He's not coming in tonight." Oliver shot an arrow into a bouncing tennis ball.

"So it's just us hitting the streets tonight?" Roy questioned. He hadn't been alone with Oliver since Felicity was killed.

Roy believed Oliver was avoiding him because he blamed him and honestly he couldn't fault him for it if that were the case.

He blamed himself too. Felicity died because she took an arrow for him. If she hadn't decided that his life was more important than her own than she would still be here, more than likely enjoying watching Oliver move about the Foundry shirtless and giving each other heart eyes.

They had been so obvious. Watching Oliver and Felicity dance around each other had been amusing and made betting with Diggle about who would kiss who first or when they would finally just get together interesting.

But now that was never going to happen.

Roy was never gonna see Felicity again. She was never going to see the sunset, never direct them on Comms, he would never hear her call him scarecrow, and it was all his fault.

"Stop."

He looked up at Oliver. "What?"

"I've seen that look enough to know you're blaming yourself. Don't."

"Why not? She's dead because of me!" Roy snapped. "It should have been me!"

The words echoed in his head, remembering when he said those same words when he lost Tommy. "I've been where you are and blaming yourself isn't going to do anyone any good." he lowered his bow and looked at him. "Felicity, in her last moments, she didn't regret saving you, if given the choice again between saving you or letting you die  I know she would make the same decision she did without hesitation. She saved you because it was who she was."

Roy shook his head and moved over toward Felicity's computer, gripping the back of her chair, he asked. "Why don't you blame me?"

"She asked me not to. It was one of the last things she said to me." Oliver set his bow down on his metal work table. "Blaming you isn't what she wanted, and this isn't your fault. It's mine." Oliver blew out a slow breath. "The Copycat Hood, he targeted you because of me, if anyone is to blame it's me and I'm going to have to live with that until I die."

"She wouldn't want you to blame yourself either. She chose this life." Roy said.

"Living this life, being a part of this team. Got her killed. _I_ got her killed." Oliver’s voice was wretched, filled with grief.

"Oliver, you can't think like that. You said it yourself, this was who Felicity was she would have found a way to be a hero without you." Roy shook his head. "Felicity loved being a part of this team, and she loved being a part of your life. Felicity didn't just choose this life. She chose _you_. She _loved_ you."

Oliver's head shot up, his eyes filling with tears and Roy felt sympathy for Oliver. He felt awful, but he couldn't imagine what Oliver must feel every second of every day. If it was Thea, he didn't think he could handle it.

"I wish I would have told her," Oliver whispered. "I wish I told her every day that I loved her. And now..now she'll never know I really did love her." Oliver blew out a harsh breath. "And I have to go on living with that regret."

Roy had no idea what to say to that and so he said nothing.

* * *

Oliver promised himself that he was going to keep going, keep fighting. He would honor Felicity by never giving up on the city they tried so hard to save, to protect.

He ran her programs the best he could, he went out every single night, patrolling and kept Starling City streets safe.

He fought for everything he believed, he cracked down trying to learn the business side of things of his company with Walter’s help, still trying to get his company back.

He lived his days trying to make Felicity proud, trying to be the man she believed in.

Oliver was no stranger to losing the people he loved, to grief but somehow Felicity's loss was different in a way he never felt before.

But when he was exhausted from continually fighting, from pretending he was okay when all he wanted was for everything to just stop. He just wanted it all to stop, and he wanted not to feel a damn thing because feeling anything anymore _hurt_ too damn much.

He had live through hell, been tortured and suffered more than one person should and still that pain, he survived it.

The pain he felt every second of every day since Felicity died in his arms was unbearable, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could live with it.

* * *

Oliver stepped into the bright apartment, locking the door behind him. His feet carried him to the couch, and he collapsed onto it, reaching for the picture on the end table.

He remembered when Felicity insisted they needed a team photo when they were out at Big Belly Burgers after a busy night. He didn't see the point, but he couldn't say no to her.

Felicity insisted they needed a picture because she also really wanted one and how could he possibly deny her anything when she was smiling at him, her eyes shining with hope. He couldn't help but smile down at her, his hand on her shoulder, thumb brushing against her neck.

He hadn't known it at the time, but John sitting across from them had taken out his phone and taken a picture of just the two of them and not the team.

He brushed his thumb across the image of the photo.

God, he missed her. The sound of her laugh, her voice in his ear on comms, the way she would look at him with hope and belief.

With a heavy weight on his chest, Oliver placed the photo back on the table and rearrange himself on Felicity's couch. He pulled the pillow he stolen from Felicity's bedroom to his chest and breathed deeply, her scent was still clinging to the fabric. His chest tightened, his throat closing with emotion as his eyes burned, he shut them tightly, willing himself to sleep. Hoping being in Felicity's space, breathing in her scent would help him get at least one good night of sleep.

He was wrong; instead, he was haunted in his dreams, even in his sleep he was unable to escape the crushing grief that weighed him down.

Dreaming of her was the best and worst thing. It was painful, seeing her and knowing she wouldn't be there when he woke up, still, in a way that pain was worth it because at least in his dreams he was with her.

He would give anything to just see her again, feel the beat of her heart, watch her smile at him, hear the sound of her voice. He would stop at nothing if given the chance to save her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are angsty right now but they will get better soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait for chapters but hopefully what I have plan for this story will make your patience worth it and secondly, I don't care about the time-space continuum stuff. This is fanfiction for a reason.

Oliver entered the foundry and froze immediately as he heard the familiar haunting sound of fingers typing away on a keyboard. 

He ran down the stairs taking two at a time and came to a halt. The sound was echoing in his head, but the bunker was otherwise empty. Felicity’s computers untouched by her for weeks.

He walked forward slowly and gripped the back of his chair, his chest aching with loss. The bunker was darker without Felicity's light brightening it up, without her warming the place with her smile and her belief in him and what they were doing. 

The mission to protect the city felt lost without her. He struggled to find the point in saving a city of strangers when he hadn't been able to keep the woman he loved safe. 

Oliver turned her chair and lowered himself into the seat, sometimes when he closed his eyes, he could see Felicity right in front of him smiling, her eyes shining with life and purpose. He could smell that light floral scent with a hint of raspberries. 

And sometimes he could hear her voice before he hit the streets asking him to come back to her. The way she stood close to him, the way she looked at him, pleading with her eyes for him to stay. 

He always came back. He asked Felicity to stay with him, and she couldn’t. 

Oliver bent forward, burying his face in his hands.

**_It’s gonna be okay, Oliver. You will get through this._ **

Even now, he could hear her voice, but he knew it was his subconscious's way of dealing with his grief. 

“No, no, I won’t.” he raised his head tears in his eyes, and he swore he could see Felicity standing in front of him, her glasses perched on her nose, hair in a high ponytail, lips painted pink, in a green blouse and one of her patented short skirts. “I need you here. I have always needed you here. With me.”

The image of Felicity reaching her hand out, cupping his cheek nearly broke him. Her hand was cupping his jaw, but he couldn’t feel it. Couldn’t feel her warmth or the sense of home she always provided. 

He was so lost in his hallucination, he never even heard Laurel enter the bunker or her heels on the steps. “Ollie, who are you talking to?” 

As Laurel came into view, the image of Felicity faded. 

Oliver washed a hand down his face. “What are you doing here?”

“I know you’re having a hard time and I just thought we could get dinner, maybe talk. I mean, if there’s anyone who can relate what you’re going through, it’s me.” 

Oliver pushed from Felicity’s chair. “How could you possibly understand what I’m feeling?”

“I know what it’s like to lose someone you loved.” She reminded, her tone cajoling. “I lost Tommy.” 

Oliver gave a harsh, brittle laugh. “You wanted to move on from his death before he was even in the ground.”

“It wasn’t like that.” Laurel protested with a look of hurt in her eyes, stepping closer. “You know things were complicated between all of us before he died. However, that doesn’t change the fact that I lost someone I loved.” 

“You didn’t love Tommy the way he loved you. He died because of you. He wouldn’t have been in the Glades if it weren’t for you. He would still be here if he hadn't gone to CNRI to save you when you had already been told it wasn't safe.  _ You _ got him killed.”

The rounding smack of her hand, striking him across the face echoed through the foundry.

Oliver glared, unmoved by the fresh sheen of tears in her eyes. “The truth hurts, doesn’t it? You did not love him the way I love Felicity, so you couldn’t possibly understand how I’m feeling.” 

“I know you’re hurting and you’re lashing out. I know you’re being sucked into darkness, your grief is threatening to consume you.” Laurel's voice shook. “I know you are being mean and cruel because it’s easier to blame everyone around you then to accept you are never going to see Felicity again. And I know this person you’re being right now, hurting the people closest to you is not what Felicity would want. If you want to honor her, be the man she believed in.” 

Oliver took a step back; her words effecting him more than a hit ever could. He turned away as she headed back up the stairs. “I’m trying,” he whispered, clutching the back of Felicity’s chair. 

**_And that’s what matters._ **

He felt a coldness sweep over him, and Felicity's scent filled his senses. 

Oliver haunched forward and allowed the grief he felt every minute to take over, his failure to be the man Felicity believed in never more pronounced.   

Or so he thought. 

Two nights later, he came upon a scene that set his blood to boil. 

A girl with honey blonde hair was pinned to the wet asphalt, struggling beneath the man straddling her waist. He was pulling at her clothes, as she pushed at him fruitlessly with her arms, her legs trapped beneath his weight, screaming for help, pleading for him to let her go, begging him to stop. A pair of spectacles laid cracked on the ground. 

And for a flash of a moment, it was  _ Felicity _ he saw fighting, struggling to get away. 

It was Felicity he heard crying out for help.

A moment of seeing her in danger was all it took. Oliver wouldn’t fail Felicity again. 

He moved forward, yanking the man from her by his arm, so hard and quick there was a sickening pop as the man’s arm tore from its socket.  

The would-be rapist gave a cry of pain as the blonde girl grabbed at her torn shirt with one hand and searched the ground for her glasses with the other, the rain pouring down making her fingers slip. 

“What the fu-”

Oliver cut him off, throwing him head first into a steel dumpster. 

He didn’t care that the man was dazed after as he crouched over him and slammed his fist again and again into the scumbag's face. 

He could hear Digg’s voice on comms, telling him the man was down but it was like it was distorted, coming through a long tunnel and barely reaching him. 

He felt his skin break with every punch, felt the pain in his knuckles, the burn in his arms, the man’s groans of pain growing quieter with every strike, the crunch of bone doing nothing to absolve his anger. 

“Arrow! That’s enough!” he felt large hands hauling him back. 

“I said that’s  _ enough! _ ” John’s face appeared in his vision, and his anger slowly ebbed. He glanced down at the bloody unmoving man and then to the girl who was struggling to find her glasses in the oncoming slaught of rain pouring down in a torrent, the high gust of wind doing nothing to help matters. 

He moved toward her and grabbed her glasses, he reached his hand out, touching her shoulder, and she jerked back with a cry, terrified as she scrambled away. 

“Hey, hey, I’m not going to hurt you,” Oliver said softly. “I just want to help you.” he gently placed the cracked frames in her hand. 

The girl hurriedly slipped them on and held her shirt together. “You're the Arrow. You saved me.” she looked past him, tears in her eyes, body shaking. “He was going to...”

“It’s okay. He’s not going to hurt you anymore.” Oliver looked behind him to John, who crouched over the bastard. “Give me your jacket.”

John looked up at him with a grim frown as he shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it to Oliver who caught it with ease, and gently draped it over the girl and quickly closed it around her. “You’re going to be okay,” Oliver promised. 

“Thank you,” she murmured shakily, voice full of gratitude and relief. 

For a moment, he saw Felicity staring up at him, telling him she believed in him. 

“We got a problem,” John said, his tone grave.

Oliver looked at him. “What?”

John was silent for a moment, his next words heavy. “He’s dead.”

Oliver’s eyes shot to the man, and he didn’t feel remorse. Honestly, he couldn’t feel anything for the man, but he felt like he failed Felicity again. 

What would she say if she knew he killed when he didn’t need to? When it wasn’t necessary?

Would she still have believed in him? Would she have still seen him as a hero?

Would she have been able to still love him when he was no longer the man she saw in him? When he was a murderer once again instead of the hero, she had believed him to be.

* * *

_ Oliver leaned on his right elbow, a sheet resting low on his hips, watching as Felicity put on earrings in front of a floor length mirror. She wore a green dress the same color as his hood. _

_ It had a primal urge building inside of him that was proud and possessive. “Are you sure you need to go to the office today?”  _

_ “Yes, I have a meeting with the HR department.” _

_ He caught sight of the gold glinting on her hand, and he smiled at the sight of her wedding band, he glanced at his hand that adorned his own golden wedding band.  _

_ He smiled, tossing the sheet away and climbed out of bed, walking up behind her he pressed his chest to her back and rested one hand on her hip and the other over her slightly rounded stomach, feeling their baby kick beneath his palm. _

_ “I’m sure I have ways of convincing you to stay home with me. Naked. In bed.”  _

_ Felicity chuckled tilting her head back against his chest as his lips pressed just beneath her ear and traveled down her neck. “Tempting, but I have to be there and don’t forget, we have a doctor’s appointment at two o'clock.” _

_ Oliver smiled against her neck. “I can’t wait to meet her.” _

_ Felicity turned in his arms, draping hers around his neck. “Me neither. When you showed up in my cubicle with a laptop full of bullet holes, I never thought we end up here. Married with a baby on the way. Did you?” _

_ “No, I thought I would save the city alone and die alone, and now, I’m still fighting for my city, but I am not alone I have you and as shocking as it is I’m happy.” _

_ Felicity smiled. “Me too.” she pressed her lips to his.  _

_ The kiss started out sweet but quickly turned heated as Oliver nipped at her bottom lip. Felicity opened to him and moaned as he licked into her mouth, her stomach pressing lightly against his hard abs, his thumbs massaging slow circles in her lower back.  _

_ Oliver loved the taste of her mouth, her body pressed against his.  _

_ Felicity jerked suddenly, ripping her mouth from his. Blood slipped out the corner of her lips, dripping down her chin, her eyes wide with pain.  _

_ Oliver stumbled back in shock, seeing the arrow sticking through her chest. “Felicity!” _

_ Felicity stumbled forward dropping to her knees, and Oliver was there catching her, one hand around her waist the other lacing with her fingers that curved around her stomach, their child protectively.  _

_ “Oliver.” Felicity choked out more blood coating her mouth. “Why didn’t you save me?” _

_ Oliver's chest felt like he was being pried open by a pair of rib spreaders, he gasped painfully. “I wanted to. If I could save you, I would you have to know that.” _

_ “If you had, we could've had all this.” Felicity struggled to get the words out, lifting a bloody hand to his cheek and cupping it gently. “We could have had everything. Helping the city, each other, a family. I could have been more than just one happy story. I could have given you more happy stories than you believed were possible.” _

_ “I’m sorry.” Oliver felt like his heart was being shredded into tiny bits, and he was never going to be able to pick up all the pieces. _

_ How had he gone from being happier than he believed was possible to wishing he was dead? Wishing he was the one who had an arrow in his chest. _

_ “Felicity, I’m so sorry!” he wiped at the blood on her mouth. “Please, just stay here with me!” _

_ His pleas fell on death ears as Felicity gave one last breath, eyes glazing over with nothing as her chest stilled completely.  _

_ “Felicity!” Oliver cried in anguish, clutching her to his chest. “Please, don’t leave me. Not again.” A cry of a wounded animal escaped him as he bent over her covering with his body, wishing it had been him.  _

Oliver jolted up, Felicity's name leaving his mouth on a hoarse shout, his breath came in fast and quick pants, sweat making his clothes stick to his skin and his chest pounded painfully against his ribcage.  

He swung his legs over the couch, sitting on the edge, burying his face in his hands. 

**_It’s okay. It was just a dream._ **

Oliver’s head shot up, and he stared across at the image that had haunted been haunting him for weeks. 

Felicity stood in front of the coffee table, looking as beautiful as the day he met her, black pencil skirt, pink buttoned up blouse, hair pulled back into a ponytail, glasses perched on her nose. 

But she wasn’t real. Oliver knew that. His heart and his mind were playing tricks on him. Torturing him. 

“It wasn’t just a dream. You died. That part is real.” Oliver wiped a hand down his face tiredly. “You’re not really here. You're dead.”

**_But you’re not, and you're going to be okay._ **

“No, I’m not. I’m never going to be okay again as long as your gone,”  _ God _ , he was going insane. He was talking to a ghost. 

Professionals would really have a field day with him. 

Felicity’s ghost smiled sadly. 

**_You can’t change what happened to me, Oliver. You have to move on._ **

Oliver sucked in a sharp breath, her words echoing in his head.

You can’t change what happened to me, Oliver. 

But what if he could? 

What if he could go back and stop it? 

What if he could save her?

He shot up from the couch, reaching for his phone he tossed on the coffee table. 

There was someone he had to call. 

He dialed a number he never had before. He didn’t care that it was barely 4 in the morning. He didn’t care what time it was wherever the man was. 

If he could change what happened, that was all that mattered. 

He waited with bated breath, pressing the phone to his ear, listing it to ring, one, two, three, four times, finally on the fifth ring. “ _ Hello, Mate _ .” A British voice answered. 

“I need your help, Constantine.”

* * *

Almost 24 hours later, Oliver was letting Constantine into Felicity's apartment.

“You look like Hell spat you out.” Constantine greeted, brushing past him. 

“I lost someone I care about very deeply.” Oliver turned to face him. “I was hoping you could help me with that. You do spells and magic and all that weird shit. There has to be something I can to do to save her.”

Constantine regarded him closely. “Your talking about changing what has already happened.”

“It is possible?”

“Is it possible? Yes.” Constantine answered. “Is it recommended? No. Time traveling. Changing the past. It has ramifications.”

“I don’t care. If there’s a spell that would help me save her, then do it. You owe me that much at least.”

Constantine was silent for a moment before finally speaking. “If I do this I can’t guarantee everything's going to work out the way you want it to that part will be up to you. There’s is a spell for sending someone back in time. I can send you back to save your friend; however, by doing so, you would be changing things, causing a disturbance in the timeline. you won’t have any way of knowing if you made things worse.”

“If you want to do this, you need to move forward with caution. There’s no telling what consequences you may face for changing something that has already happened.”  Constantine warned. 

“I don’t care about the consequences.” Saving Felicity was worth the risk. Felicity was worth any risk. 

“Okay, then,” Constantine would do the spell. He did owe Oliver one, after all. “Once I do the spell, you can only return back to your time once your task is finished. Once the life you went back to save is no longer in danger of being cut short.” 

Oliver nodded if he saved Felicity, then she would be alive when he returned. That was his priority. 

* * *

Oliver watched as Constantine drew a large symbol onto the floor, he placed five candles around it in a circle.

“Step into the circle,” Constantine instructed. 

Oliver stepped through the circle and onto the symbol, turning to face Constantine as he mixed something into a bowl, whatever it was smelled. 

“Last chance to rethink this, Mate,” Constantine warned. 

“Finish the spell,” Oliver said sharply. 

Constantine's eyes narrowed, and he started chanting. 

Oliver didn’t try to understand the words he spoke, though he knew it was Latin. 

Suddenly, Constantine lit a match and threw it in the bowl, a loud popping sound followed with smoke billowing, and suddenly he felt like he was being pulled, yanked through time. 

He shut eyes against the feeling. 

“How the hell did you get here?!” 

He snapped his eyes open at the demanding voice. 

_ His _ voice and the familiar sound of an arrow being drawn. 

Standing across from him was himself, eyes hard and unflinching, arrow knocked back, ready to shoot. “I will not ask again. What the fuck just happened?!” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I went a different route than a speedster time traveling or the Waverider. Now, I'll admit I don't know much about Constantine and I don't know if he has the power to send someone back with a spell but for this story, I'm going with that. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so if some of the chapter looks familiar to chapter one that is because we have caught up to when Oliver goes back and warns himself of Felicity's fate. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter. 
> 
> All mistakes are my own.

Oliver stared at his younger self aiming his bow at him, and he thought it ironic how he faced down countless criminals, aiming said bow, and now he was the one facing down an arrow being aimed at him. 

But unlike his countless enemies, he was not afraid. For one, there was nothing his younger self could do to hurt him worse than the suffering he's had to live through since Felicity’s death. 

“Lower your bow. You are not going to shoot me.”

“Are you sure about that?” His younger self challenged, the bowstring tightened. 

“Yes.” Oliver stepped forward without caution. “Lower your bow. I don’t have the patience for this. I’m here for one reason, and I am not going to let you stand in my way. I didn’t come all the way back in the past to have a pissing contest with myself.”

“You're from the future?” Oliver lowered his bow slowly, he was hesitant to believe anything the man who was his double. “And I’m just supposed to believe what you say? Time Travel? Really?”

“You have to listen to me, or you’re going to lose everything.”

Oliver stared back at the man in front of him, and it was like looking into a mirror, only older. “This shouldn’t be possible.”

“After everything we’ve seen is time travel really that inconceivable?” Oliver responded, his eyes scanning the bunker, searching for her. 

Looking for Felicity.

“But by being here, changing things aren’t you running the risk of ruining everything else? The butterfly effect or something.” Oliver was finding it really hard to focus. 

What was so bad about the future that he had travel back to stop it?

“I don’t give a fuck about some butterfly effect. I don’t care about the consequences it will have to the timeline.” Oliver snapped, his eyes livid with anger, a storm barely kept at bay. “All I care about is keeping Felicity alive.” 

Oliver stumbled back. “What?” 

Something happens to Felicity?

How? Why? When? 

“You think because we spent our life suffering, you know pain but you have no idea what real pain is.” 

Older Oliver’s voice was filled with such pain younger Oliver felt like his chest was being torn open, leaving an open, bleeding wound. 

“When the woman you love is ripped from you suddenly and without warning. That is real pain. True suffering.” 

A shiver traveled down the length of Oliver’s spine. He sounded just like Slade Wilson. 

“All I see is her everywhere. Her ghost haunting me with every step I take. There is so much I didn’t get to tell her. So much, I should have said when I had the chance. There's so much I regret. It’s crippling.” He breathed harshly, his hand raising to press a fist against his chest as if he wanted his heart to just stop beating. 

“I can’t do this without her. Any of it. I won’t.” Older Oliver eyes filled with so much suffering and pain that it had younger Oliver flinching, almost recoiling. “I will save her or I’m going to die trying. Failure is not an option because there is no Oliver Queen without Felicity Smoak.” 

His hand tightened around into a fist, muscles coiling. “So you can help me or get out of my way. I don’t care if you are me. I will put you down.”

Oliver saw the conviction in his eyes but more than that he saw the pain, but he already knew he was going to do whatever he needed to do if it meant saving Felicity. “What do we need to do?” 

“Well for starters we find the bastard who kills Felicity, and we kill him before he kills her out of an obsession with the hood. 

Present Oliver clenched his fist. “We got her killed.” 

“She died saving Roy, but he was a target because of us, who we were when we came back.” Oliver lips twisted as a look of self-loathing filled his eyes. “It was her choice to save him, but yes, she dies because of us.”

“How-How does it happen?” present Oliver asked hesitantly, rubbing two fingers together. 

“She pushed Roy out of the way of an arrow, it pierced her chest, she died in our arms, struggling to breathe, her lungs filled with blood. Her blood is on our hands.” And he meant that in every way. He still remembered with a heavy battered heart, the way it felt to have his hands wet with Felicity's blood, to watch as the life left her, taking her light with her.  

The picture his future self painted was ugly. He couldn’t imagine Felicity dying at the end of an arrow like so many of the people he had killed. 

She deserved better. She deserved to live. 

“When does it happen? A few years from now?” Oliver questioned. His future self looked older by at least a few years. 

“Three weeks.” 

Oliver’s eyes widened.

Three weeks? But the man in front of him looked at least five years older. 

“I know. I look like Hell. Losing the woman you love will do that to you.” Oliver replied, caustically. 

Oliver swallowed his heart, suddenly thundering in his chest. “When did you know that you fell in love with her?  _ When _ do we fall in love with her?”

“Stop.” Oliver's voice was hard. “Stop lying to yourself. You are already in love with her. You told her.”

“I was fooling Slade.” Oliver shifted uneasily. 

“You're fooling yourself. You love Felicity, and you’re too afraid of how important she will become to you if you accept how you feel about her. However, none of that matters. Felicity and I were never together, and she was the most important person in my life, and I still lost her.” Oliver took a step toward his younger self. “Keeping away from her, ignoring what’s right in front of you will do nothing but give you regrets, and we have enough regrets to last us a lifetime.” 

Oliver swallowed thickly. “Did she die not knowing what she meant to us?” 

“She knew she was important, but she didn’t know how much. I don’t know when we fell for her. It could have been that first time we saw her, and she was speaking to our picture. It could have been that day we walked into her cubicle or when she challenged us to be more than just a guy in a hood killing criminals. It could've been the night of the Undertaking when she refused to leave. After Rusia when she told us, she thought we deserved better. When she told us the truth about Thea even though she was afraid to lose us. It could have been when she told us to go save Thea. We could have fallen in love with her every night she chose to fight our mission, to stand beside us. How she tried to help, get our family company back.” Oliver shook his head, swallowing hard. “There are so many moments that could have been the moment I started to fall in love with her. But that's exactly what my love for Felicity is about. It’s never been just about one moment. It’s about all of them and how every moment with her no matter how small has left its mark on me."

Oliver fell silent, his heart pounding in his chest with every word his future self spoke. He was forced to acknowledge everything he tried to ignore when it came to his beautiful blonde partner. 

“I’ve been,  _ we’ve _ been falling in love with Felicity over and over with every moment we ever spent with her,” Future Oliver stated, and he had never been more certain of anything in his life. 

Oliver was stunned. How do you deny something when you're confronted with yourself and the truth that you refuse to acknowledge. 

However, the sound of the foundry door opening.

Future Oliver’s head snapped to the stairs with laser-like focus, holding his breath. 

Oliver watched as this desperate look appeared in the older version of himself eyes, his body tensing like he was preparing for a brutal blow at the sound of heels coming down the stairs, 

He focused on every minuscule change of expression of the man before him as he turned slowly to the stairs, watching as Felicity walked down the stairs with Digg and Roy not far behind. 

Future Oliver pressed his hand to his chest as he watched Felicity descend the stairs.

She wore a black skirt and a purple blouse, her hair pulled back in its signature ponytail. 

God, she looked perfect. Even more perfect than her ghost who has been haunting him whenever he was alone. 

Knowing she was real that he could reach his hand out and touch her, had him stumbling forward, his heart pounding painfully against his ribs, his breath seizing in his chest. “Felicity.”

Felicity looked up as she reached the bottom of the stairs, her eyes widening as she looked at the sight of not one Oliver but two.

Why were there two Oliver’s?

“Why do I see more than one Oliver?” She questioned, she took a step toward the two Oliver’s but stopped taking them both in. 

There was the first Oliver who looked slightly different, his eyes had dark circles, his hair was thicker and sticking up in every direction like he just rolled out of bed, and he had more than a week worth of stubble covering his jaw. 

The other Oliver was more kept together, with no bags beneath his eyes, the usual stubble and his hair looked the way it always did. The strange thing about him was he was focused on watching the other Oliver. 

Her eyes went back to the slightly haggard looking Oliver, noting that he was watching her like he thought she was going to disappear. 

Future Oliver took a step forward, stopping just short of standing directly in front of Felicity. His hand reached out slowly, touching her cheek. 

He gasped, his breath leaving him, feeling her warmth against his hand. “ _ Felicity _ ,” his voice was gutted.  

The way he said her name caused Felicity to shiver. It was deep and sensual, but it was raw with pain. She had never heard him speak with that much pain in his voice before. 

“Oh God, Felicity, you’re really here.” Oliver surged forward, bringing his arms around Felicity, crushing her to his chest as he wrapped around her, burying face in her neck, feeling the tears slip down his cheeks as he held her. 

Felicity gasp, looking over the shoulder of the Oliver who was hugging her like she was his lifeline to the one behind him watching them with the strangest expression. 

What the hell was going on? 

“Oliver?” she whispered uncertainly. 

And Oliver pulled back just enough to stare into her eyes, and Felicity was shocked to see a tear slipping down his cheek, his chin quivering, struggling to hold it together. 

“ _ Felicity _ ,” he said her name like it was the only cure for his pain. The answer to all his pain. 

She reached up, brushing his tears away with her thumb. She didn’t know what was happening, all she knew was that she wanted to help him. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but whatever it is it's going to be okay.”

Oliver shuttered, and pulled her back into his chest, engulfing her in his arms, the feel of her beating heart against his chest, the feeling of her in his arms, her warmth filled him with such relief, he couldn’t keep it together. He hugged her as tight as he dared, as close as she allowed, sinking into her warmth, her hands smoothing down his back, moving over his shoulders and through his hair, whispering, it was going to be okay. 

He took comfort in her embrace, in the way she was trying to take away his pain. 

“ _ Felicity _ ,” Oliver breathed against her skin again and again.

He needed this closeness with her more than he needed air to breathe. 

Oliver’s chest tightened as he watched himself with Felicity, clinging to her like he was still drifting at sea and she was his first sign of shore. 

He knew his feelings for Felicity were deep but to be told by himself that it was love and to see his older self reacting to Felicity’s near presence, it was so painfully obvious that his older self really did open his eyes to what was in front of him. 

He loved Felicity. Hell, Oliver can’t even remember looking at Laurel the way his older self had looked at her. 

Did he look at Felicity in the same way?

He caught Felicity staring at him over his future self shoulder. Her eyes were full of questions. 

And his chest tightened. How was he supposed to tell Felicity that the Oliver that was hugging her so tightly came back in time to save her? 

How did he tell her she was going to die in three weeks unless they stopped it?

And how the hell was he supposed to explain that his older self was clearly in love with her without making things awkward between them more than they already were thanks to the whole fake ‘i love you’.

Except it wasn’t fake. Oliver meant it. 

He just isn’t sure if he’s ready for all that entailed. 

However, what does it matter if he’s ready? According to his future self, he didn't have much time with Felicity if they failed to stop her from being killed. 

Plus as weird as it was he didn’t like seeing someone holding Felicity the way he was. 

How messed up is it that he was feeling jealous of himself? 

A loud throat clearing broke him from his thoughts and had him turning to his friend. 

“What the hell is going on?” John demanded, eyes narrowing on both Oliver's. 

“That’s what I want to know.” Roy tilted his head to the side. “Hey, Oliver, you plan on letting Felicity go anytime today and explaining why there’s two of you?” 

Oliver arms tightened around Felicity at Roy’s words and Felicity instinctively tightened her arms around him, whispering.” It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” 

Felicity felt like Oliver needed the reassurance. 

Oliver sagged against her and pulled back after a moment, his hand against her neck, her pulse thrumming strongly beneath his hand. “You have no idea how much I have missed you, Felicity.”

Felicity felt his words beneath her skin. They were said with so much emotion, she was sure there was more to them than what she knew. 

“Oliver, what is going on? I’m so confused right now.” She took a step back from him. However, Oliver’s hand dropped to her's tangling their fingers together like he was unable to bear losing contact with her completely. “There is two of you. You look like you need some rest and you keep looking at me like you’re afraid I’m going to disappear.”

“I’m afraid this isn’t real.” his hand tightened on hers. “I’m terrified I’m not really standing here in front of you.” Oliver was terrified he was going to wake up on Felicity’s couch, and she would still be gone. “I need to be where you are.”

Felicity's eyes widened, her heart literally skipping a beat in her chest. 

What the frack is happening? 

“Oliver?” she breathed. “What is going on with you?” 

Oliver stepped toward them. “He’s from the future.”

Felicity’s eyes shot to the other Oliver, stunned. “I’m sorry, what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last update for a while. I'm taking a break from writing for personal reasons however once RL is less hectic I will start posting again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has left comments and kudos. Thank you! I hope you like the next chapter!

“The future?” Digg repeated flatly.

“This is right up your alley, Felicity.” Roy shot her a teasing grin. “Like that Doctor Who TV show you’re always going on about.” 

“This is not like Doctor Who. I doubt he used a tardis to get here.” Felicity shook her head. “But that does beg the question how did you manage time travel?” She looked at Oliver curiously. 

“Magic,” Oliver answered. 

“Magic?” Felicity repeated, remembering a time before she joined the team when they talked about magic. 

“Magic.” He confirmed. “I know a guy who let’s say is quite good with magic, and he performed a spell to send me back.”

“But why did you need to come back?” Digg questioned. 

“I lost someone very important to me.” Someone Oliver couldn’t live without. “I came back to save that person.”

“It wasn’t Thea, was it?” Roy asked alarmed. He hadn’t seen Thea since she left Starling City, but it would kill him if something happened to her.

“No.” Oliver shook his head, looking directly at Felicity. 

Felicity swallowed hard, her chest tightening with the way he never looked away from her. It was a dawning realization that had a pit forming in her stomach. 

The way Oliver reacted to her when she came down the stairs. The way he clung to her, his tears. Even now with the way, Oliver refused to look away from her for even a moment. Like he was afraid, she was going to disappear. Or the way he clasps her hand, remaining some kind of physical contact with her no matter how small as if he was reassuring himself she was real.

Felicity’s throat constricted with a wave of fear. 

Digg was having a hard time believing in magic and time travel; however, he got distracted when a sound of distress escaped Felicity, her skin paling. “Felicity, are you alright?” 

Felicity couldn’t answer him; however, her focus narrowed down to Oliver. Future Oliver. “It was me, wasn’t it? I mean, I’m not presumptuous but the way you’re looking at me right now, I can’t help but think it’s me who you lost.” Her frown deepened. “Except, I know I’m important to you, but I doubt I’m important enough for you to take such drastic measures like time travel.” 

“Don’t say that.” Future Oliver shook his head. “Don’t do that to yourself. You’re more important than you possibly know.” 

“Why would you think you’re not important?" Present Oliver steps forward until he was standing side by side with his future self directly in front of her. 

“Because of you, you idiot.” Future Oliver snapped, finally looking away from Felicity only to glare harshly at his younger self. “You can’t just tell her you love her and then reveal it was a plan to take down Slade. You should have talked to her first. How did you think that was going to affect her?” 

“Hey, you’re from the future. You did the same thing.” Oliver protested. “If I am an idiot, so are you. You did the exact same thing.”

“You’re right. I am an idiot. But I’m not the one with my head still stuck so far up my ass that I’m too scared to take a chance on something real.” Future Oliver snapped. “I know what I want, and I know what I’m willing to do to fight for her.” 

Oh, wow. Felicity’s heart thudded against her ribcage. That sounded like a declaration. 

Present Oliver clenched his jaw eyes darkening in anger. 

Felicity’s eyes widened, and she bit her lip, watching as the two Oliver’s glared one another down. The veins in their neck straining, tension coming off them in waves. 

She never thought she would see Oliver literally arguing with himself or looking like he was going to throw a punch any second with the way their muscles were bunching.

It was hot in a weird way. Felicity bit her lip. Something was wrong with her. 

Something was definitely wrong with her. She should not find it hot that they were arguing or that they were arguing over her. 

It was not hot. It wasn’t. 

She nibbled on her bottom lip. Maybe, if she repeated that on a loop to herself, she could convince herself of the lie. 

“Can we not do this right now?” Present Oliver’s eyes flitted to Felicity then back to his future self, arching an eyebrow. 

“I’m not gonna hide anything from her.” Future Oliver threw back at him. 

“This is so weird.” Felicity murmured. “It was already weird with there being two of you, but it’s extra weird that you’re fighting about me. I mean, I might have dreamed about there being two of you before, but you hadn’t been fighting over me. There was zero fighting, but there was fuck-” Felicity cut herself off abruptly her face flushing red as both theirs eyes snapped to her with a laser-like focus. 

She hadn’t meant to say any of that. 

“I mean, there was no fu- um, there was sharing going on, in the strictly platonic sense.” Felicity bit down on her lip to keep from embarrassing herself further. 

“Yeah, I’m sure it was completely platonic.” Roy shot Felicity a teasing look. “Like how when you can’t take your eyes off him when he’s working out. Is that platonic, too?”

Felicity shot out her arm in an attempt to swat at him, but he was too far out of her reach. “Quiet, Scarecrow.” 

“How does it happen? When does she get killed?” John demanded, stepping toward the two Oliver’s, his eyes flitting to Felicity in concern. 

His questions sucked the teasing and playful air out of the room. 

“Three weeks?” Felicity repeated, her voice rising in alarm. “So I’m really going to die?” 

“No.” It was an echo from all four men, but it sounded harsher from future Oliver as he took her hand in his again. 

“I am not going to let you get hurt again. I will protect you with my life.” 

“That’s great, and all but you’re not the only one here who wants to keep her safe,” Roy interjected. 

“Exactly, so we need to know everything so we can protect her,” John said. 

Felicity knew they didn’t mean anything by it, but they were talking about her like she wasn’t standing right there. “Can you guys stop talking like I’m not here. It’s my life we’re discussing.

“I’m sorry.” Present Oliver apologized. “We want to keep you safe, but you’re right. This is your life. I, I mean, he-” he nodded at his older self beside him. “Will explain, and we will take it from there, and you have a choice in how we handle all of this.” 

Felicity nodded. She turned her focus on future Oliver, squeezing her fingers around his. “Tell us.”

“In a few days, bodies are going to start to drop. Arrows being the chosen weapon. A copy cat Hood.”

Roy frowned. “Like the ones who took Thea?” 

“No,” Oliver shook his head. “It’s just the one man, and this isn’t about what happened with the Undertaking or the Glades. It’s about me. About who I was when I first came back to Starling City. About the killer, I used to be.” 

“But you’re not that person anymore.” Felicity protested. 

“That’s why this man surfaced.” Digg realized. “He thinks he’s doing the Hood’s work.” 

“No, he resurfaces to remind of who I was. To prove that the person I’ve become is too weak to be the symbol this city needs.” 

“That’s not true.” Felicity protested. “You’ve become a symbol of hope for the city.”

“He doesn’t want me to be a symbol of hope. He wants me to be a symbol of fear.” present Oliver realized. 

“Yes, and he figured he could bring forth the man I used to be by taking the people I care about away from me. Starting with the Team.”

“Felicity was his target then. Kill her and bring forth the killer inside of you,” said Digg. 

“No.” Future Oliver shook his head. “Roy was the target. Felicity pushed him out of the way and was hit with the Arrow that was meant for him.”

“What?!” Roy’s eyes shot to Felicity in alarm. He didn’t want Felicity to die for him. It had been two months since everything that happened with Slade, and in that time, he was more involved with the team, and they had become his family. Felicity was the sister he never even realized he wanted. 

Felicity’s brow furrowed. She didn’t like knowing she was going to die. No one would, but in a strange way, it was better knowing her death wasn’t pointless. She gave her life for someone she cared about. 

Felicity glanced at Roy, seeing his look of alarm, she knew he didn’t see it the way she did. 

She pulled her hand from Oliver’s and took a step toward Roy and placed her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, relax. It’s okay.” 

Roy shook his head. “No, it’s not. I’m not going to let you die because of me.” 

“She doesn’t die because of you. She dies because of me.” Future Oliver interjected with a pained look. 

“This isn’t anyone’s fault,” Felicity told them both. “I made a choice to save a friend, and I can tell you I would make the same choice. It’s my life, and I would choose to give it for a friend. It’s not either of your faults.” 

“It’s a moot point.” John crossed his arms. 

Roy’s eyes shot to him in betrayal. “How can you of all people say that? We just find out Felicity dies for me and your response is it’s a moot point. Like her life doesn’t matter?”

“Oh, it matters.” John’s voice took on that hard soldier edge. “It’s a moot point because we’re not gonna let it happen. If we take this guy down before he even starts dropping bodies, Felicity won’t ever be in danger.”

“Exactly.” Present Oliver agreed. “We find him and make sure he doesn’t have the chance to hurt anyone in the name of the Hood and then I,” Oliver waved a hand at his future self. “He will go back to his time.” 

“As soon as Felicity’s life is no longer in danger, and my task is complete. I will immediately return to my time.” Future Oliver said, moving closer to Felicity again. He just needed to be in arms reach of her. 

“Is that a qualification of the spell?” Felicity’s head tilted in curiosity. 

“Yes, once you’re life is no longer in danger, I’ll just return to my time,” Oliver confirmed. 

“Well, that makes it simple.” present Oliver declared. “We’ll know for sure that the danger is gone when you are.”

“If we’re going to stop him before he kills anyone, let alone me we should get to finding him.” Felicity moved to her computers, pulling Oliver along with her because he refused to let her hand go. “Give me his name, and I’m sure we can find him.” 

“No, need.” Oliver squeezed her hand. “I know where he is. I will go there and handle him, and then you’ll be safe.”

“We’ll go.” present Oliver interjected. 

Felicity frowned. “Which one of you is going to wear the hood? And how is the other one, going to disguise themselves?  What about the bow?” 

“He can use one of my hoodies and my old bow.” Present Oliver stated. 

Future Oliver didn’t protest. Mainly cause he didn’t care who wore the suit. It was meant to be a symbol of heroism and what he planned on doing was not heroic. 

He didn’t need a bow because he planned on killing the man with his bare hands. Again. Instead, he replied. “Let’s suit up.” 

* * *

Felicity monitored the two Oliver’s and Jonn on the monitors, listening over her comms. Roy was sitting next to her, silent. That wasn’t unusual. No, what was unusual was that he wanted to stay back with her. Especially when he liked being in the thick of the action. 

“You know, you didn’t have to stay back with me,” Felicity told him. 

“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to.” Roy needed to. The knowledge that Felicity in the future died for him was a future he didn’t want, and it left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

Felicity looked at him a moment, the tense set of shoulders, his eyes hard and his frown deepening by the minute. A wave of empathy hit her. She couldn’t imagine what he was feeling to know a friend, that she sacrifices her life for him in the very near future. She reached up and muted the comms before focusing her attention entirely on Roy. “Are you okay?” 

“Am I okay?” Roy shook his head in disbelief. “You just found out you’re going to die, painfully, I might add in three weeks, and you’re asking me if I’m okay?”

“Yeah, I am.” Felicity concerned didn’t waver. 

“I’m fi-”

“And don’t say fine. I hear that enough from Oliver. I don’t need to hear it from you, too.” Felicity leveled Roy with a look. “Are you okay?”

Roy looked away from her. “No, I’m not. I mean, how can I possibly be okay when I learned a friend is going to die for me?”

“Hey, it hasn’t happened yet.” Felicity patted his arm to get him to look at her again. “And once we get this guy. It’s never going to be something either of us will ever have to worry about again.” 

“I hope you’re right.” Roy couldn’t lose his sister, and that’s what Felicity was to him. 

“I always am.” Felicity patted his hand before unmuting the comms her eyes widening at the commotion she heard on the other line. She couldn’t ever remember hearing Oliver swear so much over comms. 

“Fuck! This is not fucking happening. That murdering bastard is supposed to be here!” Oliver’s voice thundered, echoing in her ear, his heavy breathing, telling her just how angry he was and knew instantly that it was future Oliver that was losing it in a fit of rage. 

* * *

A primal rage coursed through Oliver’s veins, making him feel like his blood was boiling over. 

Andrew Miller was supposed to be here. It was the same place he had found Andrew resided in when he hunted him down in his time. An office in the Glades.

But here, he wasn’t there. There was the chance that he hadn’t set up roots here yet, but what if that wasn’t the case. 

What if one of the consequences of him coming back changed how Felicity dies by Andrew Miller’s hand? Or God forbid what if it sped up the timeline for Felicity’s death? 

He kicked a desk, swiping boxes off another, he picked up a lamp and threw it at the wall, the ceramic shattering on impact. 

“Don’t you think you should stop him? Destroying everything isn’t doing us any good.” John looked at his partner. 

Present Oliver made a face, he understood why the other him was angry. How were they going to protect Felicity if they didn’t know where her killer was? He turned his gaze away from his future self just as he picked up a box and threw it at a window, shattering the glass. “Why does it have to be me?”

“Becuase it’s your future self having a meltdown.” John crossed his arms. 

Oliver rolled his eyes but stepped forward and grabbed his future self by the shoulder just as he slammed a fist through the wall. “That’s enough.”

Future Oliver whirled around, knocking his arm away. “Don’t touch me!”

“You need to calm down,” Oliver ordered, stepping forward. 

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” Oliver shoved his self back with a hit to his chest. “He’s not here. I have to find him and kill him.” 

“Whoa,” Digg stepped forward. “Who said anything about killing this guy? We neutralize him and hand him over to the authorities.” 

Future Oliver spun on him, leveling him with a murderous look. “I’m not going to let the man who kills Felicity live. I’m not going to give him the chance to take her from me again. He will die.” 

“Oliver,” John stepped forward brushing past the present Oliver. “Killing is a last resort. When there is no other choice.”

“There is no other choice when it comes to Felicity’s life. I will kill whoever I have to, to keep her safe,” The words vibrated from his chest. “And I will put anyone down who gets in my way, and I don’t care who it is.” 

The threat was clear. 

“Oliver, that’s enough. We don’t go around threatening our friends.” Felicity’s voice sounded in his ear, and future Oliver tensed, his shoulders slumping forward. He hadn’t intended for her to hear all that. 

Oliver didn’t want Felicity to know that her death had brought the killer in him back to the surface. “Felicity,” he whispered contritely.

“Come home,” Felicity said, and Oliver nodded, he barely spared his present self or John another thought as he pushed past them and out of the room, intending to get back to Felicity as soon as he could not wanting to be away from her any longer than he had to be. 

* * *

Felicity stood as John, Present Oliver, and Future Oliver came bounding down the steps. “I already started running my searches for Andrew Miller. Hopefully, we get a hit soon in the meantime I feel like we need to discuss that no matter what is going on, we don’t turn our anger on each other. We need to be on the same page.” 

Present Oliver moved to put his bow away, and John followed. “She’s talking to you.” Oliver threw over his shoulder at his future self.

“I’m sorry.” Future Oliver stepped forward, reaching for her hand. “I just want to make sure you’re going to be safe and not finding Andrew, where I found him in my time, has me worried.”

“I understand, but that’s no reason to come at John the way you did. We will get Miller, but we cannot let this create a divide in our team.” Felicity laced her fingers with his. “Please, try to show some restraint.”

“If it’s you asking I will.” Oliver murmured. 

Felicity blushed, her cheeks warming and the way Oliver was looking at her with soft eyes wasn’t helping either. 

“Where’s Roy?” John asked. 

“He went to talk to Sin. See if she knows anyone by the name Andrew Miller.” her brow furrowed in concern. “He’s not handling this well.” 

“And how are you handling this?” Present Oliver wondered, trying his hard to ignore the way Future Oliver had his fingers laced with Felicity’s, standing barely two inches apart. 

“I’m fine.” Felicity browed furrowed, realizing it was hypocritical of her to say that when she had just given Roy a lecture about it. “I mean, I’m okay. Still processing and everything. It’s easier when I keep busy.” 

“If you want to talk about it we’re here,” Present Oliver assured. 

“I know,” she ran a hand through her hair. “For now, I’m just focused on my searches.” She gently tugged her hand free from future Oliver’s grasp and returned to her computers. 

“Hey,” Oliver called out to himself when he moved to follow Felicity. “Let’s spar. You can get some of the anger off your chest, so you don’t lash out at the team.” 

“I doubt that’s going to help but fine. I really need to punch something anyway.” 

While the two Oliver’s moved to the training mats, John took a seat next to Felicity. “I know this has to be scary, but I promise we are not going to let you get hurt.”

Felicity looked at him. “This is scary. I don’t want to die.” he frowns deepened. “And I don’t want to be the reason Oliver kills again. I hate that my death had such a negative effect on him.”

“That’s because it’s you. You’re irreplaceable, Felicity.” John reminded. “And you mean more to him than any of us realized.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Felicity wasn’t sure what to think about that, and ultimately she was more concerned with Oliver’s emotional well being. 

Her eyes found future Oliver again, and she hoped he was able to get through this still the good the man, the hero she believed him to be in one piece. He didn’t deserve to suffer more than he already has. 

Why couldn’t the world for once give someone as selfless as Oliver a much-needed break? Hasn’t he earned that reprieve?

Felicity worried her bottom lip, watching both Oliver’s spar her concern shining through.

Felicity was more concerned for him than she was her impending death, and she knew that said a lot about how she really felt.

* * *

Felicity settled on her couch. She had just gotten out of the shower; her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, her hair still damp. She wore a simple pair of panda pajama and a green tank top. 

She had left the foundry around two. Her searches had not gotten any hits, but she set up an alert on her phone for when they did. 

John had headed home to Lyla but only after following Felicity home.

Both Oliver’s had still been sparring when she left and showed no signs of stopping and Roy had accompanied her home. 

He had wanted to stay, but Felicity insisted he go home. Felicity understood he wanted to protect her. But she was not going to drop dead that second and she didn’t need her boys hovering over her constantly.

And she really just needed some time to be alone and really process everything. 

She was going to die in three weeks if they couldn’t stop Andrew Miller. 

If they found Miller, she had no doubt that future Oliver was going to kill him. He was going to get blood on his hands again. 

She didn’t want him to kill someone in her name. She didn’t want to erase the strides he had made in being a hero and not the killer he once was when he first returned to Starling before the Undertaking happened. 

She didn’t want to die, and she didn’t want to be the reason why Oliver suffered. 

It was hard to believe that her death would cause him so much suffering. 

What could possibly change in three weeks between them that she was so important to him? 

Felicity thought back to Oliver’s fake I love you and the moment they shared on Lian Yu and how they talked about it. 

Had his words really been a lie? Or did Oliver love her, and that was why he couldn’t cope with her death. Was that why he came back to save her?

Oliver had lost a lot of people he loved. More than one person should in such a short expanse of time. 

His dad, Shado, Tommy and his mother, yet it was her death that he was trying to change. 

She wanted to understand, but she was also afraid of the answer and what it could mean for her?

She was afraid of knowing too much about the future. The consequences that knowing too much would bring forth. 

And if Felicity was honest with herself, she was in a bit of denial about the ticking time bomb that was her life. 

Three weeks.

What if they couldn’t stop it? What if she was meant to die and there was nothing anyone could do? What if it was fate? What if it was just her time?

She needed more time than three weeks. 

There was still so much she wanted to do. Things she had yet to accomplish. 

Hell, she was too young for a bucket list, but if she was dying in three weeks, maybe she should get started on one.

Felicity looked around her apartment, feeling more alone than she had in a long time. She jumped when her eyes passed over the window near her kitchen. A man was standing out on her fire escape. 

She scrambled from her couch, reaching for the first thing she could find grabbing the umbrella by her front door and wielding it like a baseball bat, she walked toward the window. 

In hindsight, she should have grabbed her phone from the table and sent out a 911 to Oliver, but she wasn’t exactly thinking with a clear head. 

She moved closer, and her eyes widened when she was able to make the hooded figure out. “Holy Frack!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments are the best encouragement

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I have no idea where I’m going with this but couldn’t stop thinking about this after watching some old Olicity videos on youtube.
> 
> Not sure if I’m going to continue it.


End file.
